OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Your dad touched me again.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize