They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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