people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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