I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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