I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize