the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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