The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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