I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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