I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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