Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize