I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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