Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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