so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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