You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
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So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I pour the whiskey from now on
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