So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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