I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize