I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Even my vagina gasped.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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