What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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