we're chasing vodka with high fives
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize