those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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