so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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