The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize