i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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