I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Damn victory sex feels great
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize