no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize