I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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