I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
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just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
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This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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