Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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