just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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