Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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