oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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