So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize