i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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