I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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