I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize