dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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