We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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