Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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