If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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