How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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