i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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