I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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