the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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