Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize