Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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