His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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