I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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