Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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