BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
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My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
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Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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