i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize